maspulung’s sanctuary

So here I am, sitting in front of my new Dell PC in my new office room down on first floor of Florida Gym. (see the pic above..:))
After spending 2 months in Indonesia, I returned to the sunshine state last week.
I spent 2 nights in Kuala Lumpur on the way back to US via Hongkong for a conference. I’ve never been to KL before.. and that was my  first visit. My old friend from University of Malaya whom I know when I was in the Philippine picked me up at the airport. I was glad that he offered me a free accommodation when I was in KL. So, I spent 2 nights at his house. The conference went well. At least no one complained and asked difficult questions about my presentation. At the end I got several name cards. … I left KL soon after I was done with my conference.. though I hoped I could stay longer.

Next.. Hongkong-Los Angeles..
The flight to Hongkong was not full while the flight from Hongkong to Los Angeles was so packed.. I met many Indonesian workers in the plane. Most of them were crews from Carnival and Holland-America lines.. which based in Miami and Seattle. The flight was delayed for 4 hours in Hongkong due to bad weather. Though I did not have any problem with the US immigration and customs, but due to the delay in Hongkong  I was late in catching my connecting flight from Los Angeles to Dallas and Dallas to Orlando.  I then insisted Cathay Pacific to give me a direct flight from Los Angeles to Orlando without transiting in Dallas.. After a little argument.. I got a new route a direct flight from LA to Orlando for free.. yeee…
In Orlando, a friend picked me up and we went to Miami beach for relaxing. Miami beach was always touristy.. however it’s a good place to party.. 2 days in Miami beach cured me from my jetlag faster than what I thought.. Well thanks to a couple of glasses of wine, margarita and of course, pina colada (my favorite one)

After recovered from my jetlag I returned to Gainesville “the Home of Florida Gators”… and back to my apartment…???? Ups I wished I could… but I had to stay at my friend’s couch for a while as I have no money to renew my apartment rent… so I stayed at my friend’s apt until next month when I have enough money to rent my own room….( ini ceritanya Impian Amerika)
Gainesville was still the same.. it was just getting hotter .. in fact we got heat wave now…(100 F) too hot, even a cute person from a tropical islands like me can melt…

As Gainesville was too hot, some friends invited me to go tubing in  Ichetucknee river. Ichetucknee is a state park. For those who have no idea what tubing is, it is floating down the river… The water is so clear so you can see a lot of fish in the water. For someone who can not swim like me.. It was quite challenging. Well not to mention that you may see wildlife in the forest e.g turtles, but also alligators and snakes.. I’m not afraid of alligators but snake makes me nervous.. I was so nervous when my friend yield “ don’t go that side there is  a water moccasin on that tree..” water moccasin is one of venomous snakes… so  it drove me crazy as unlike kayak or canoe, you do not have much control in a tube… but finally I landed safely…

Next day, my graduate coordinator asked me to attend the graduate orientation for new students. Actually I did not want to come as it was for  new students… but he said you should come as I’m going to distribute free bags and other stuff… mmmm who can resist free stuff. So I decided to attend the orientation on the following day.
On the orientation, the graduate coordinator asked me to give a talk on graduate student panel discussion representing our department on how to be a successful graduate student at UF.. I was shocked!! I did not know what to say..  Am I a successful graduate student?? I guess not… but the show must go on.. so I did it anyway .. and they loved me even more after that talk….:)
on Wednesday, the school begins.. I see a lot of new students move in .. New semester.. new experience. I’m so excited … I cheered for new life experiences that I will experience this year… I do not know what may happen to me next, but at least I know that I will never walk alone… 
hav a magical day everyone..

perjalanan ke jogja menjadi kenangan tersendiri paling tidak buat aku sendiri. Kemarin setelah sempat terombang-ambing dengan masalah status, assistanship plus grant yang ndak turun-turun, akhirnya bisa juga aku balik ke jogja.
Rencana awal adalah tinggal di Cape town Afrika selatan selama summer untuk internship.. Namun baru dua minggu di sana advisorku menelepon memintaku segera balik ke FL karena grant penelitianku akhirnya berhasil didapatkan. So, buru-buru balik ke FL untung tiket dapat dipercepat tanpa menambah biaya.. di FL langsung nglembur 3 malam menyelesaikan proposal dan presentasinya. Hari senin bangun pagi segera menuju ke kamar mandi untuk mandi… sayang air tidak ada karena ternyata baru ada perbaikan roofing di apartemenku.. sebenarnya sih sudah diumumkan sehari sebelumnya kalo hari ini bakalan ndak ada air.. tapi karena aku sibuk nyelesaikan power point presentasi ya ndak sempat memperhatikan pengumuman itu. Alhasil harus numpang mandi di apartemen seberang .. trus ambil sepeda dan pergi ke kampus untuk konsultasi  sebentar dengan advisorku., lihat ruangan dan nyiapkan segala macam pernik-pernik presentasi… dan menunggu pesertanya. O ya di kampusku uji proposal research itu terbuka untuk umum. dan diumumin ke listserve kampus. Karena ini summer aku tidak mengharap banyak mahasiswa datang.. Namun, di luar prediksiku hampir 40 an orang datang termasuk dekanku.. Padahal kapasitas ruangan cuma 35 .. Panik dah… 20 menit cuap-cuap njelasin why, what and how I will do the research.. dan tibalah saat penghakiman setumpuk pertanyaan yang kadang membuatku bingung.. untungnya aku berhasil menjawab semua pertanyaan dan nampaknya committee membersku pada manggut-manggut puas.. So untuk membuat cerita pendek menjadi panjang. Para advisorku memberi izin untuk ke Indo untuk doing mengumpulkan data… horee…….
presentasi selesai jam 5 sore. Trus kembali ke apartemen beres-beres.. packing .. and NDAK SEMPAT MIKIR OLEH-OLEH.. langian tahun lalu khan sudah..alhasil tidak tidur semalaman trus esoknya jam 8 pagi diantar teman sekamar ke Orlando (2 jam drive) dan terbang ke Indonesia.. via LA dan Hongkong.. nah menariknya rute ini adalah rute umum TKI dan TKW dari LA ke Hongkong bareng orang indo yang kerja di kapal pesiar.. Nah yang dari Hongkong ya bersama para pahlawan devisa ini… Sampe di jkt trus cari tiket ke jogja hari yang sama.. untungnya masih dapat.. dan here I am .. di jogja . 1 minggu awal belum ke mana-mana karena diare seminggu… untungnya sekarang sudah baikan dan bisa jalan-jalan an nongkrong di Amplaz… kalo mo ketemu ini nomorku 08122720093… hope to see old friends when I’m in jogja…

A good friend of mine said these words to me a couple of weeks ago when I was in a deep problem here. "Hold on and never give up. Don’t think about being successful here in the US, but about how you can be significant as a person. That is what matters!"

Your situation may or may not change in the next few days, months or years, but how you view life and how you live it makes a lot of difference. You don’t have to feel that you are stuck or your life is frozen. You have a life here so you need to LIVE IT!

Focus on the positive things that are happening in your life. There is a reason for everything under heaven and a purpose  for everything  that happens in our lives. We are a part of everyone, so we need to connect even if there is that fear. We should not let that fear rule us. Instead, use that energy to be SIGNIFICANT.

I know that I can not live in the States when I have done with my education. However, the States does mean freedom for me for being a person, to be more authentic to myself. I just wish that I could find it in Indonesia. But I guess I have to wait for couple of years until Indonesia ready to accept me for who I really am.

Well… it’s tomorrow problem.. in the mean time I need to focus on my work..

have a magical day everyone..

This semester I closed with straight As (again) in my transcript …. What a semester. A lot of problems I had this semester.. had forced me to work harder. However, I still have to defend my research proposal on June 1. I’m freaking out preparing this defend. I do hope that there are no more obstacles. It’s gonna be the climax of this semester. After I’ve done with the defend… I will be able to relax… but now I’m still worried. 

The past three weeks were hard for me. On April 4, I received devastated news from my graduate coordinator. The new dean imposed a new regulation cutting several funds for our department. This regulation affected me and another student; we are not eligible for assistantship for next academic year. Without any assistantship, how I can complete my study. Even worse, my permit to stay in the USA will expire on May 7, 2007.  I was depressed. My advisor suggested me to apply for any other assistantship around campus to cover my study next term, and that what I did. I went to any center at campus, from center of Asian studies to institute of Black Culture. It was 19 in total. The results were only rejection letters. I was so scared. I was totally lost focus. My class and my research fell apart.

On Wednesday April 25, I received very good news, my advisor was able to renegotiate with the dean, used her position and challenged the dean to invest in me. The dean finally agreed to give me full funding for one more academic year to complete my study. Next year my advisor suggested me to move to another school to continue my education. Anyway, I am glad that everything is back to normal.

Next fall will be tough for me. My advisor said it’s like you have two full time jobs. One is working on my own research and working for the Center of Tourism Research and Development. I do not know the detail of my responsibility yet as I haven’t signed the contract. I will sign the contract next week. However, my advisor said that my responsibility include overseeing tourism development project in Tampa Bay, Florida; writing technical reports, serving as the center’s public relation and deal with tourism and leisure service providers in south Florida. I am so excited with this new project. The degree will not guarantee your future but the contact you make with people in any project will guarantee it… For this reason I have to postpone and change most of my plan this summer, fall and the spring next year.

I feel blessed to have these people around me. They believe in me more that I do.

Dr LPG, my advisor who fought for me and said to the dean “I want this guy” Using her position she challenged the dean to give me second chance. Thank you for investing in me.

Dr. BT, my co-advisor who joined the mission to save me and searched any opportunity to fund my study. Thank Dr T

DA, coordinator of international student at UF who said “Pulung no matter what you will get your degree. I will pay your tuition fee for your last semester” FYI it’s around $9000… I said D there is no way I can pay it back even when I work in Indonesia. She just smiled and said I do not expect you to pay it back, I just hope you will do the same thing to anyone else in the future … I was speechless…

BG, thanks for your encouragement when I was down and lost focus, and yes I will move with you next fall…

All friends in Gainesville who spread my CV and story to any professor at UF asking do you have something to do for this guy next fall? He needs money to complete his degree. I love y’all.

Everyone who believes in my dreams and helps to make them real. Thank you and I really appreciate your help…

I wish I could lift this burden.. The news I received 4 days ago devastated my life. Everything that I build so far is crushed. All hardworks so far is useless. My dream suddenly becomes a nightmare… I am not sure I can handle this..I do not know how I can face the world. I really do not know what to do.

For the first time in my life I fell so scared, worried, and down. I fell weak… very weak so that I almost fainted a couple of time…

I just want to sleep..to forget this… and I don’t want to wake up again.. 

Last night University of Florida (Gators) defeated Ohio State University (Buckeyes) in the final NCAA man basketball 84-75. The Gators have become the first team to win consecutive basketball championships since Duke did so in 1991-92 . Last year we won the National Champion for the first time.

The fun part of it was we defeated the eternal enemy The OSU "Buckeyes" . I mean we defeated Buckeyes last January in the 2006 Football game. At that time we denounced  as underdogs by the media and consequently motivated to massacre the BucKeyes 41-14 on Jan 8. I was in Glendale Az to watch that game. So I knew that The Buckeyes was so deprressed… They saw this basketball as a revange… but guess again … we won again…

Yea… the Buckeyes wil hate us for a long.. long time. But that what we planned  anyway….

So last night after the game was over, Thousands students and fans were flocked along university avenue to celebrate the Championship… Fireworks cracked in the skies and launched from the steps of Anderson hall on campus as the spotlight of a helicopter swept over the riotous Gainesville streets. Nude men streaked between the sound of shrieks, honks and bongo beats… For the people who were seperated from their friends in the wet knot of bodies at the celebration’s epicenter, it was not difficult for them to find new ones. Everybody was good for a high five or a hug. I guess it became tradition now. It was the third time, this town became crazy… first when we won National Basketball Champ in 2006, next we we won 2006 National Champ and now 2007 National Champ for Basketball…

In the crowd, I felt something wierd…I wish I could express it. I mean I really like this school.. the school spirit is so strong here… I’m not a huge fun of Baketball or football, in fact I do not know  the difference between slam dunks and rebound. But I really love the strong bonds here… Especially when we sang together "we are the boys from old Florida" while holding hands with anyone next to you… it’s the best moment in time.. I’m really blessed that I could study here in  Florida.. three years ago… it was not in my mind at all…  Regardless a lot of problems I face this year.. still I have grown up by studying here… hopefully I can use my knowledge gained from this uni for the betterment of Indonesia… Well let’s think about it later on… now it’s time to celebrate the day…

We are the boys from old Florida,

F-L-O-R-I-D-A,

Where the girls are the fairest,

The boys are the squarest of any old state down our way.

We are all strong for old Florida,

Down where the old Gators play,

In all kinds of weather

We’ll all stick together for

F-L-O-R-I-D-A.

Those who study at OSU… sorry…We defeated you again….

Seminggu terakhir ini alergiku sama pollen kian parah padahal sudah berbagai obat anti alergi kuminum… namun nih hidung masih saja bermasalah apalagi mataku juga ikut-ikutan tidak bisa diajak kerja sama… I wish I can just take a rest tanpa memikirkan kerjaan yang setumpuk … tapi ndak mungkin!!!

Kerjaan 1: Proposal riset yang sudah 80% jadi harus dibongkar ulang gara-gara advisorku dan aku ternyata berbeda arah dan tujuan… baru sadar kalo kami beda persepsi ketika semuanya sudah hampir jadi… so ganti research question… dan karena research questionnya ganti,, ganti pula title dan introduction plus literature review… gara-gara ini pula IRB protocol harus ditunda .. lebih parah lagi aku hanya punya waktu satu minggu lagi untuk nyelesaikan proposal ini… Minggu pertama april aku harus defend nih proposal… siap ndak siap.

Kerjaan 2: kamis minggu depan presentasi research paper untuk kelas management… lha research reportnya saja belum aku buat karena sibuk ngerjakan proposal thesis… panik jadinya mana si prof minta aku ngirim draf paper hari senin depan… topiknya sih sudah ada "managing cultural diversity in park and recreation agencies"… tapi ini masih sekedar topik..

Kerjaan3: "Pulung, where is the questionnaire for City of Wyoming…?? I know you’re busy but please send it to me by monday.. ini another professor yang aku assistansi. Kami ada proyek dengan public recreation park di city of wyoming, Michigan untuk assesing physical activity programm-nya. Aku bertanggung jawab buat questions untuk questionnairenya… masalahnya adalah membuat pertanyaan untuk survey tidak semudah yang aku pikirkan.. harus mikirin reliability dan validity… pusing… belum lagi nyusun construct dengan domain physical activity ..

Kerjaan 4: Mengisi tax form dan mengirimnya sebelum april 15… ini penting, kalo ndak bisa dideportasi…

Kerjaan 5: Harus secepatnya reschedule flight untuk research… karena takut kalo Jetblue akan gulung tikar… maklum akhir-akhir ini jetblue sering membatalkan penerbangan.. padahal untuk cancel akan kena fee 30 dollar belum lagi untuk ganti airline harus nambah duit karena tiketnya lebih mahal…

parahnya setiap kali ngetik di laptop lebih dari 20 menit mata sudah kering dan berair plus nih hidung mengalir trus kaya sungai…..

Karena stress tiga hari terakhir ini aku sengaja tidak muncul di departement dengan alasan sakit berat (emang).. Besok harus ke student health center untuk konsultasi… pokoknya minggu depan harus sudah fit lagi…

Lord hav mercy…

Dear All

If nothing changed, I will be leaving the USA on April 15 for a research. I will be back to the USA in August 14 (I hope). During that time, I will have a limited internet access. However, I’ll try to reply your email whenever I have internet access. Thank you.

hav a magical day

… I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity ..

(The Greatest Love of All)